The BILA Wave

By Nissi Ofosu

Over the past year, we’ve been seeing many podcasts being created that mainly talk about dating, how to treat a woman, how to be an alpha-male, men telling women how they should act & have even gotten to the extent of saying that a woman’s value is baked on her looks and the amount of men a woman has been with.  An ‘alpha-male’ is a man tending to assume a dominant or domineering role in social or professional situations. Podcasts such as Fresh & Fit, whatever podcast and along with the help of the alpha male king, Andrew Tate, have taken the internet by storm with their transparent and misogynistic ideas.

For the past decade, we’ve been hearing many women use the term “men are trash” as some type of advice to other women to avoid dating or giving men the time of day in their lives. Since women have constantly been saying this, the term “men are trash” or “men ain’t nun”, has become so normalized that we don’t even flinch. So could these podcasts be a response to the popular term? Are men tired of hearing that they are “trash” and are some kind of villain so are fighting back?

Though this is harmful language that is thrown towards men, that doesn’t justify the way these men think about women and treat them. Most men believe that the amount of men a woman has been with determines her value as a woman. According to Andrew Tate, on the Grilling Podcast, “A woman’s value is determined by her body count.” In other words, the lower her body count, the more value she has. The higher her body count, the less value she has. It’s like a car. The more mileage a car has gone, the less value the car has. Why are women being seen as some kind of object that can used and their value can be determined by the amount of men that she’s been with? Relationships fail all the time, anything could possibly happen between that woman and her past partners. 

Women and men are completely different. Our bodies are different, the way we may express ourselves are different, etc. There are so many things about men and women that are different, but why are there things that men can do, but are frowned upon when women do it? “I can do whatever I want, I’m a man. If a woman does it it’s disgusting.” Andrew Tate stated in the Grilling Podcast.  An extreme double standard. Why are men so comfortable with saying these things and feeling this way towards women? It’s utterly disgusting.

But this is just the first layer of the cake. Alpha-males seem to have some odd ideas about how relationships work. An alpha male influencer duo, Fresh n Fit, who are banned on tiktok, yet have a surprising subscriber count of over 1.5M on youtube, seem to have mastered the idea of gender roles and how women are viewed. In a now deleted video, which was dedicated to why fidelity in a relationship is the responsibility of the woman, one of the hosts on the podcast stated, “Monogamy goes against a man’s natural state, sexual fidelity is women’s natural state,” Yikes.

Now what is the point of all that I have said? The point is that we can’t keep normalizing things like this. There is nothing wrong with having a certain preference with the women you date, but don’t make it seem that if a woman doesn’t do what you want them to do, she’s some kind of weirdo. Don’t look down upon a woman because of her choices and uplift the choices you make, solely based on the fact that you’re a man.